In Between - Stef and Lena's Missing Scenes
by HYAdamsFoster
Summary: The first in what I hope to be more missing scenes. I may move a story in here, but I think I will just use this from now on. First story is the deleted scene from Christmas Past.
1. Christmas Gift

Silence. They cleared the plates in the still of the house, the kids elsewhere. They'd let Callie and Brandon go help Daphne, more out of a sense of embarrassment than actual trust. The less kids to face this evening, the better. Jesus was busy with decorations and Mariana had quickly escaped as well. Only Jude remained, happily enjoying the company of his grandma, watching television.

Though they had kissed at the table, the tension between them remained. They weren't the type of people who would leave a mess, so they used the time to meticulously pick up after the Christmas Eve dinner disaster. It felt a bit like a warzone, the burnt smell of lasagna still permeated the air.

"Well, the pie was good at least." Stef tried to open with a joke, but all she received in return was a weak smile. She looked around wondering what else to say. Sometimes, she just opened her mouth and said whatever was on her mind. A feeling would burst from deep within her, a troubling thought would rise like lava erupting from a volcano. There was no stopping her mouth. And once the floodgates opened, Stef didn't know how to contain them. She desperately wanted to blame her mother. She was fighting the urge to just speak and put it all on Sharon's feet. She knew that Lena wouldn't appreciate it. Lena needed something from her, now that they were in private. Stef subconsciously touched the earrings, she loved them. How could she not love them? They were a gift from Lena, and anything Lena had ever given her, she'd treasured with her life.

As she struggled for something to say, she remembered. In the anger, hurt and ultimate relief of this evening, she'd forgotten that she had indeed gotten Lena a gift. Well, not Lena exactly. "Lena, please wait here, I'll be right back."

"Stef, what… where are you going?" Despite feeling a deep sadness, she needed Stef near her. Perhaps because of this melancholy, she did not want Stef far from her.

"I need to get something, I'll be right back." And Stef ran as fast as her feet would take her. There in the back of the tree was the gift she'd been hiding. The one she wasn't sure she'd get until she found it in the shopping bag as if it belonged there. They'd said no to gifts, but this wasn't for Lena. Stef walked back to the kitchen where she found Lena leaning against the table waiting for her. She'd hidden the gift behind her back and approached Lena carefully. As she got close, she pulled it out in front of her and handed it to Lena, watching confusion grow in Lena's eyes.

"Did you just go and wrap something?" Lena accused.

"No, you know there wasn't time for all that." Stef tried not to be annoyed.

Lena examined the gift carefully, noticing the tag, "But you said, you didn't get me anything."

"I didn't," Stef said and then paused when she saw Lena's growing confusion. "It's not exactly…" she tried to find the right wording and gave up instead, "Just open it."

Lena carefully looked at the gift, it was soft and pliant. The wrapping paper was child-like. It reminded her of the gifts Stef would share with the kids. She looked at her wife again, Stef had an expectant look on her face. Lena quirked an eyebrow and Stef grew impatient. "Just open it." She repeated.

Lena finally gave in and took a peek as she undid some of the tape. It was something soft. Curiosity finally got the best of her and she hurried with the unpacking. It was a rolled up blanket, all she could see was the color yellow. As she unfolded it, realization took hold, a baby blanket. It was a little lion, and she couldn't help the tears that made their way to her eyes, emotions overwhelming her. Stef got her baby something.

Stef spoke, "I…" For the second time tonight, words wouldn't escape naturally. Emotions were choking her, but she continued, "We don't know what it's going to be, but I just found myself in the baby section and I knew." She took a deep breath. "I knew this would be for our baby." Stef watched Lena's tears fall unabated, "I love you and I love this baby."

Lena looked at her wife, her hazel eyes filled with tears.

Stef continued, "I know this isn't for you, and it can't compare to diamond earrings, but we did say…"

Lena stopped her with a kiss, "This is the best present I have ever received."

Stef felt a genuine smile creep up her face, "Really?"

"I still wasn't sure." Lena said as she took her wife in her arms.

"About what?" Stef wondered.

Lena sighed, and sat back a little, leaning against the table again. "If you wanted this baby," she said as she touched her belly.

"I know this has been rocky, but ever since you told me it was real," Stef reached down to touch Lena's belly, "I was all in."

Lena held on to Stef tightly and let the tears run again. She was relieved that Stef was supporting her. She'd been completely insensitive to Stef with this whole pregnancy thing. She had wanted this so desperately and blindly that she'd left Stef behind. If Stef wasn't into the baby, Lena knew she had no one to blame but herself.

"This is our child Lena, like all those other crazy kids we already have. Ours." For the first time in a long time, Stef believed that. She hadn't realized it till this moment, but she'd been so angry, so left out. Maybe she had been punishing Lena for keeping this pregnancy to herself. With this blanket between them, Stef knew she had forgiven Lena. "Let's go to bed sweetheart." Lena nodded. Tonight they needed the comfort of each other's arms.


	2. Faith - A drabble

Is that how it was all these months? Her wife and that woman together in the office talking, sharing, being there for each other. Stef could not believe how broken she felt after seeing them in Lena's office. Long ago, she'd learned to read every expression on Lena's face. Each and every line on Lena's face was as familiar as her own. She knew Lena has been sad, she was spilling hurt and Monte was receiving it. Too numb to do anything, she walked away, leaving them be. They certainly didn't need her interrupting.

When, Stef got home all she could do was lie down. She'd never felt this insecure about Lena. She trusted Lena, but how long could this hold if Lena spent time and time with this woman while she deteriorated into a deformed mess? Soon, Lena would admit that she didn't find her wife attractive anymore. Monte would listen and hold her and kiss her again, except this time Lena wouldn't stop her. Lena would respond and they'd fall in love. Stef's mind was stuck on a loop, over and over, Lena's lips on that woman.

Stef couldn't possibly compete. And what options did she have? She couldn't risk her life and keep her breasts. That wasn't an option. She'd have to just take it and wait for the inevitable. If not Monte, maybe someone else, someone with beautiful breasts, like she used to have. Well, Stef still had them, but not for long. And even now, they felt like her enemy. They were ticking time bombs, waiting to explode, to kill her and destroy her relationship.

Why did breasts matter so much to Lena? She guessed they always had. Stef herself knew that well. Lena had adored them with abandon since the first moment she got a hold of them. Stef had never imagined that she wouldn't have them to entice Lena. To be fair, she hadn't been enticing Lena in a while. And how could she re-engage her now, now that she'd be half a woman. It felt like a losing proposition. Yet, she couldn't quit Lena. She'd take her for as long as Lena would have her. She just had no guarantee how long that might be. Lena was the love of her life, the one she'd always love. Stef only wished it had been the same for Lena. In retrospect, she wished they'd said the traditional vows, in sickness and in health. She didn't realize that they wouldn't make it a year before for better or for worse would become empty promises.

"You OK?" Lena's concerned voice broke through her dark thoughts.

All Stef could do was sigh, "I didn't sleep well last night."

Lena didn't push her, "Is there anything I can do?"

Stef refused to make eye contact, "I just need some rest." If she had looked at Lena, maybe the tears would have come down her face. She wasn't ready for this. The thought of losing Lena and her breasts all in one fateful operation was too much to bear. Luckily, Lena took the hint and left her alone. She'd been very accommodating recently and today she was grateful to be left alone in her grief.

She couldn't lose Lena, this just wasn't possible. She was a fighter, but how could she fight without all her tools at her disposal. It would be like playing basketball with only 4 players. She'd need a lot of faith to keep the hope alive. And there was only one thing that Stef Adams Foster lacked: faith.


	3. Just Get Naked

Standing in the kitchen of her own home, Stef had never felt so nervous in her life. She was about to show Lena her new haircut. She'd done this today on a whim, walking around trying to decide what to do about her breasts. The cancer survivors she had met had inspired Stef. She realized that she wanted to get to the place these women were at, completely comfortable with their bodies. Stef's problem was a bit deeper, she'd never comfortable in her own skin. Not fully. Things had changed for her when she'd met Lena. For the first time in her life, she'd known she was going to live her life authentically. And her truth was her sexuality. She had thought that was enough but years later, she realized that she felt shame about marrying a woman. Having worked through that layer of internalized homophobia, Stef had found that authenticity could take on many forms. Marrying the woman of her dreams in a pair of pants had pushed her past that comfort level. In the past, she'd picked her attired based on what her mom and what society wanted. After her wedding, she'd begun wearing her flannel, her smart blazers, she'd felt sharp and in control when she wore those clothes. She'd felt like Stef.

This cancer crisis had at first been a life or death scare, but then it had turned into an identity crisis. Her breasts were at the center of this conundrum. The situation had her wondering about what it meant to be a woman. These wonderful women had shown her that breasts weren't a component of identity all. And as she pondered that, she came to the conclusion that she wanted to be the woman she had always wanted to be. She wanted breasts because she liked herself with them. She wanted them, not for the people at the station, not for random strangers, not even for Lena. She wanted them for herself. Once she let go of that particular concern, a buried desire resurfaced: she wanted short hair. Each time she thought about it, she could hear all the voices telling her it would make her look manly and butch. God how she loathed that word, butch. It was everything she had fought against for so long. She'd lived with people calling her dyke and now it would be butch dyke.

Sometimes, Stef had learned, what you fear is exactly what you need to do. You're afraid for a reason, and living in fear is no way to live. Stef wanted to live, she'd walked on the edge of death now and she wanted to live her life on her own terms. So she'd cut her hair, and she'd own the labels she'd despised, butch dyke. So what? Even in her head, the more she said them, the less dangerous they became. So everyone, including her mother, would just have to deal. Well, there was one exception, Lena. Stef cared about what she thought, she wanted Lena to love her, want her, desire her. Yet, even Lena wasn't worth living a lie. Stef wanted to believe Lena, who said she'd love her no matter what. She really wanted to but Stef founded it incredibly hard to do.

"Hey Ma," Stef rarely called her that, but figured this time it might get her attention.

Instead, Lena just merely replied, "Hey," without even looking up from doing the dishes.

Stef continued, hoping her words would convey her news, "Anything new and exciting happen today?"

Lena wasn't making it easy, "Uh, no not really. How's the set building going?"

Ok, time to step it up with some innuendo, "Still a lot to do and time is **short**."

"Yeah?" Lena was not budging.

Stef decided it was time to face the music. She bit her lip, cleared her throat and went for the truth, "I uh, I decided to get the implants."

And that finally got Lena's attention. When Lena finally looked her way, Stef felt as if her life depended on her reaction. Lena couldn't fake a first reaction; Stef would know right away. She had been expecting Lena's surprised look, her gasp, but not the huge smile that broke out on her face. It immediately put her at ease, but she had to make sure.

Stef couldn't match Lena's smile, "Do you hate it?"

Lena approached Stef, her arms outstretched in search of the new haircut, "Oh my god I love it. It's so sexy." Lena's words inspired a quick smile from Stef. Lena walked around her, taking in every inch of her beloved. "What inspired this change, look at you?"

Stef was relieved, feeling Lena's love. She sat down to explain, "I think it's my own version of, of, of, Ellen's tattoo. The peacock. I think it's you know my, my symbol of, of confidence. I've always wanted to cut my hair really short."

Lena watched Stef as she grew in her certainty and smiled with pride, "Why haven't you done it until now?"

Stef sighed, she'd never even let Lena know all these insecurities, "Cause I was afraid I was gonna look a dyke. I hate that I have my own internalized homophobia. But uh, just really been struggling, really been struggling with, with the way people are gonna look at me without breasts. As if I uh, as if I am somehow less of a woman, less, less feminine. But you know what? Breasts and long hair do not make me a woman. And What the hell do I care if people think that I'm butch because they have uh, an idea of what a woman is supposed to look like. I just, I just, I just want to look like the way I wanna look. And letting go. Letting go of that fear. I guess, I just, I've never felt more feminine." With that statement, Stef couldn't hold her emotions in any longer. She felt her eyes water, her truth was finally out and it felt wonderful. "And I am gonna get implants because I like having boobs, not because I'm not me without them. So..."

Lena had never felt more pride for the woman she loved. Stef was such a strong woman and Lena felt so proud that she was finally standing up for herself, not for everyone else, "I love you so much." She approached Stef again, longing to connect.

"I love you too," Stef could feel Lena's fingers begin to play with her hair again.

And as Lena ran her fingers through short strands she felt something immediate and powerfully overwhelming: desire, "And fyi." Lena cleared her throat, suddenly unable to be coherent, "This hair is getting me a little…"

Stef was pleasantly surprised, "Oh really?"

Lena smiled, "Hmmm." Then she decided to drop the innuendo and get blunt, "We have a little time before dinner. You know. We could uh." Lena quickly stifled a sniff, from her unshed tears of pride. "You know we don't have to. We could just get naked and hmm mmmm." The last thing she wanted to do was put pressure on Stef.

Beyond the initial surprise, Stef herself couldn't deny that this new feeling on the back of her neck was affecting her too, "Hmm." Lena's fingers were magical.

Lena laughed and then said, "Come on." Then suddenly serious and determined took Stef by her hand and led her to their bedroom, "Come."

Stef tried to break the tension with some humor, "Oh, you wanna buy me dinner first woman?"

Stef's joke had changed the mood. As they were going up the stairs, Stef decided to tickle Lena, "Get up there."

Lena squealed with delight, Stef was playful and that meant she might be able to relax. In the weeks since her surgery, Stef had been very cagey with her body. It had made Lena become cagey with hers. They'd talked about it, but she knew Stef was far from over her body issues. When she'd first come home, she'd made her sure her mother was the one helping her with her dressings and her drains. It was a process that she didn't want to put Lena through. Lena had felt sidelined, but did her best to respect her wife's wishes. If they'd live long enough, she knew that caretaking was in both their futures. If Stef needed this from her mother, Lena would let her have it.

As the days passed and Stef regained some movements, she sent her mom home, but still didn't let Lena do much. It was until Lena came clean about her guilt issues that Stef allowed her to help. She helped her with her hair, put clothes on and to adjust the compression bra. Even after that, and the fact that Stef had revealed she was getting some feeling back, Stef would not fully uncover her body and let Lena touch freely. Lena had caught glimpses of Stef in the shower, especially recently, but Stef had quickly turned away. Lena knew that all she could do was continue to be supportive and wait Stef out.

Finally, it seemed like waiting might pay off. Stef was feeling feminine and perhaps even sexy. Lena was ready to take advantage of the situation. As she told Stef earlier, she would have had sex with her earlier.

Stef let Lena beat her up the stairs, letting the excitement grow. She wanted Lena, and she knew Lena wanted her. She just wasn't sure how it would all work out now that things had changed. Now that her body had changed. She'd never been closer to Lena, so she knew her apprehension had nothing to do with emotions. Lena's love had never been clearer, even today, she'd proven how devoted she was. And the last time they had been intimate, it had been everything any woman could wish for in love making. It had been tender, incredibly intimate and highly pleasurable.

Still, she feared things had changed. Despite the current bravado, Stef was still struggling with her self-image.

As if she could read her mind, Lena called to her, "It's OK, there's no pressure. I just want to feel you close to me."

Stef knew it was time. So she bravely untucked her shirt and started unbuttoning it, one by one, not meaning to create anticipation. She was just a bit nervous. Lena didn't want to rush her, so she just sat on the bed, waiting for Stef to be ready. It was still the afternoon, and there wouldn't be any darkness to hide her body. Stef almost had her entire range of movement back. She just couldn't exert much force, that was still a painful challenge. Taking of her shirt, took no effort, and she was a master at taking off the compression bra. They had known each other for thirteen years and had almost as much time knowing each other intimately. It was incredible that they were still experiencing firsts. This type of vulnerability was not something Stef was used to. She felt completely exposed. During the day, with clothes on and the pads inside the bra, she could simulate having breasts. She'd resisted showing Lena her chest, but they both knew that this moment had to come.

Stef watched Lena take her in, and saw nothing but love in her eyes. She stepped closer to her wife.

Lena watched Stef step in and looked into her eyes first, seeking permission. Stef smiled and Lena knew it was ok, that Stef was letting her all the way in. She looked down and saw the deep scars running from where here nipples used to be to the sides of her body. They weren't raw as she'd peeked at before, but they were still pink, well on their way to being healed. She looked up again, asking for permission, this time it was given with a perceivable nod.

Lena wrapped her arms around Stef's waist and placed tender kisses on the scars, "I know you can't feel much."

"Yeah, I can't, it's numb mostly. I feel some things, and sometimes pain, as if I still had my breasts. But I really like the visual of what you just did. It's not gross to you is it?"

Then Lena cried, she hadn't let herself feel this, but it was suddenly too much. "Oh god Stef no. I am so happy to see them because it means you're alive and you're still here with me."

Stef got down and sat on the bed down next to Lena holding her tight. They cried together, holding each other.

After a while, Lena tried to calm herself, "I am sorry Stef. I am trying to be strong for you. And I am just so happy to be on the other side of this now."

Stef stroked Lena's hair, "You don't have to be strong for me, I told you, I am ok. I am better than that now. I feel hopeful, like I am new but still me, a better me, a healthy me?"

Lena shook her head, "I am so proud of you. I've never been more proud. You're my hero. You're so strong and you take on anything."

Lena kissed her wife, once again burying her fingers in that hair. Soon her mouth followed, she wanted to kiss the nape of her neck. Stef may not have much feeling in her chest, but she had feeling in her neck. As soon as she placed her mouth behind Stef's ear, Lena could feel her wife squirming beneath her.

"You like that, eh?" Lena questioned between kisses.

Stef smiled, "I always have, but somehow this hair, or lack of it, it makes me feel things all the way down to my toes."

Lena smiled, "We're going to concentrate on what you can feel, not what you can't." She took Stef's hand again and stood them up. Lena began taking her clothes off. Whatever silliness she'd had before about showing Stef her body was gone. She knew Stef could only love her. Stef took her cue and disrobed as well. Despite the insecurity about her chest, she still felt proud of the rest of her body and was happy to show it off. She was surprised when Lena took her hand and silently guided her to bed again. She had expected some over sexuality, but Lena had avoided that.

Once on the bed, Lena wrapped Stef in her arms, gently at first. She was clearly still wary of any pain she could cause.

Lena whispered in Stef's ear, "I just want us to be naked, OK? No pressure."

Stef nodded and held on to Lena. It was weird to feel so much and to be missing such a big part of herself. She could feel Lena's body everywhere, except on large parts of her chest. She heard Lena's words in her head, concentrate on what you can feel. And the strongest feeling was in her heart. She loved Lena, and she trusted Lena to love her exactly as she was now.

Lena's hands began to wonder down her back on the way to her ass. Lena was taking advantage of the nudity and she knew exactly what Stef liked. "You are so sexy."

And for the first time in weeks, Stef believed it. "So are you," she said, suddenly deciding that Lena's body was just as it was before. There was absolutely no reason not to enjoy Lena as she had before. She decided to engage by touching Lena everywhere. She ran her hands up and down Lena's back, till both their arousal awakened. She felt their legs intertwine, happy to find that her own body was still capable of feeling pleasure. Her center began to throb in anticipation.

Stef loved Lena more than anything and her breasts were still there, waiting for Stef. She decided to confront the elephant in the room, reaching between her bodies, to touch and feel. There were many things about Lena that weren't like anything she had, and she still enjoyed them. Her breasts were just one of many things they didn't have in common. And that was ok.

"Oh love, you feel so good," Stef was glad that she could still get pleasure from breasts, even if they weren't her own.

Lena knew it was time to really show Stef how much she loved her. She took her hands back to Stef's hair, caressing the short blonde strands. Then, she tracked her hands down to Stef's shoulders. She gently touched everywhere, even her chest, her scars. She watched Stef jump in surprise when she touched Stef's abs.

Lena moaned, "How have you kept your abs so tight through all this?"

Stef smiled, "It's my professional secret."

Lena continued her exploration, Stef may not think so now, but touching her was turning her on. The flat chest was strange in that she wasn't used to it, having touched this woman so many times in the past. It wasn't that she found Stef unappealing. All of this, all this skin, this was Stef, and she treasured every bit of it. She would touch everything, relearning Stef's body. It might take years for them to learn what Stef enjoyed and did not care for. It would take time as her implants grew, and her sensitivity came back, or didn't. Through it all, Lena would show Stef that she wanted and needed to relearn her body by kissing and touching and licking.

Stef was anxious at first, but the more Lena touched her, the more comfortable she got. She vowed in that moment to not hide again, not from Lena. She had nothing to fear. Lena was showing her with her mouth and hands that she loved all of her. As Stef began to relax, her body began responding again. She took Lena in her arms and kissed her, probing deeply with her tongue. She moved her hips against Lena, letting her body show Lena how much she wanted her.

Sensing the change in Stef, Lena decided that just being naked was not what Stef needed. Stef obviously needed some release, she needed to reconnect with her body. Lena reached down and opened up Stef, pushing her thighs apart. Stef easily complied, letting Lena know that she was ready for more. Lena didn't want to push Stef too much, not on their first time. She wanted her body fully healed before they tried anything too physical. Lena touched her gently, Stef was wet and ready. Lena felt herself melt at the thought of how wonderful this woman was. She was facing everything with a brave face and could still manage to give her this, her body, her love.

"I wanna eat you," Lena moaned out.

Stef's eyes opened wide, immediately agreeable to the idea. "I wanna eat you too," her body spoke out her need before she'd even registered it.

Lena sighed, "Do you think, we could, um, try together? I mean, it's not too much for your body right now?"

Stef shook her head, "I am almost ready to go back to work, I think I am ready for this."

Lena decided she'd do the heavy lifting just in case. She let Stef lay down on the bed, while she turned herself around and positioned herself above her wife. Carefully, she carried her weight on her knees and arms, keeping herself off Stef's chest. She lowered her pussy carefully, till she felt Stef's hands gripping her hips, pushing her down.

"I'm not gonna break, Lena" Stef spoke as her mouth found her wife's clitoris.

"Ahh," Lena gasped, "I…" Then, she forgot what she was going to say and decided to descend on Stef. Familiar rhythms were found immediately. Their mutual knowledge of each other's bodies didn't suddenly disappear. They had engaged in this particular activity many times before. In most cases, they could time it just right, knowing when to slow down or speed up. Stef's body wasn't that different.

For Stef, this proved to be the perfect activity. She couldn't even think about her chest, when she was occupied on two fronts. She had always found sixty-nine to be a challenging activity. Lena would give her a particularly long lick, and Stef would forget that she was supposed to keep sucking. Or, she'd get so distracted by giving Lena pleasure that she couldn't concentrating on her own body. Right now, her face was full of Lena. Her nose was buried in her wife, her senses were overwhelmed by smell, sight, sound and feel. Lena tasted sweet, her clitoris was as stiff as she'd recalled. By Lena's hip movements, she could tell it wouldn't be long. So she slowed her pace, licking softly instead of sucking. She focused instead on her own hips, moving, showing Lena what pace her body required today.

Lena responded by entering Stef repeatedly with her tongue. It was a shallow, wet penetration that Stef particularly enjoyed from this angle. Stef was ready quickly. Lena could feel Stef's swollen lips on her chin, so she returned to Stef's clit and began circling it. Stef's moans got louder, and they both knew that they were close. They concentrated on not letting go, even as their orgasms took over. Lena started coming first, and it immediately send Stef over the edge. They held on tightly as their bodies shook, intertwined.

Stef finally broke the silence, "I like it when we hmmm… mmm." She'd found her body still worked. For weeks, she had felt betrayed by this diseased body. Today, it had shown her that it was still capable of giving her pleasure. She was still very much alive.

Lena laughed, "Me too baby, me too." And then to make sure she kept her promise, Lena turned herself around. She then encouraged Stef on her side, spooned her from behind and held her. She wanted to give Stef comfort, love and some naked time. She reached around Stef, placing her arm carefully around her middle. Stef took her hand, and put it on her flat chest, right over her scar.

"I love you," Lena husked with emotion.

Stef nodded, "I love you too."

Lena placed her head on Stef's shoulder, nuzzling her new short haircut, "I really like your hair."

Stef smiled, "You've always liked me a little butch."

Lena wasn't going to deny that she loved Stef's style, "I have, but I also just love you. Any version of you, I feel privileged to have watch you develop into the woman you were meant to be. And I look forward to walking this journey with you, wherever it takes you."

"I wouldn't be here without you," Stef admitted. "You helped me come out, you pushed me to let go of society and marry you. And now you're helping me accept my new body. I wouldn't be here without you."

"You never need to consider that, because we're meant to be. That's why it's like this." Lena knew that she had changed too, that Stef had made her a better person. Her life, and everything in it was because Stef had helped her build it and that they would be there next to each other, wherever life took them.

"Should we think about heading downstairs?" Stef suddenly wondered.

"No, they can all wait, the world can wait. Everything will be better after we take this time." Lena kissed Stef's neck.

Stef sighed, feeling better than she had since she first heard of the cancer. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives.


	4. One Year Later

Stef looked out the restaurant into the incredible view. Across the bay, the skyline of San Diego twinkled magically. They'd managed to get seats by the window at _Island Prime_, a lucky stroke. Stef was pleased to see Lena enjoying herself. Stef had a lot on her mind, but tonight, she tried to give everything she had to Lena. They had been married for one year. Although this was an important anniversary, Stef couldn't help but be emotionally attached to their other anniversary, their first anniversary, their first kiss. When she first got together with Lena, they'd actually missed their first month anniversary. Stef had kissed Lena and fled in panic. It took longer than a month for Lena to dump the woman she was with and for Stef to finally come out to her family and friends. When they had finally become a couple, they'd spent a couple of weeks just exploring each other's bodies. Eventually, Lena, ever the romantic, wanted to know when they could celebrate a month of their love. They had discussed at length which day they should pick, eventually settling on their first kiss. So instead of celebrating their first month, they had celebrated their second month together.

Stef motioned towards Lena, trying to get her attention. Her wife seemed very taken by the sights. They were waiting for Lena's lobster tail. Stef had opted for the ribeye. "Do you remember when we picked out our anniversary?"

Lena gently turned back to Stef, grateful for her attention, "Of course, it's a lesbian tradition."

Stef nodded, "I didn't know that then, I didn't understand how important it would be."

"Yeah, without marriage, whatever day we picked, we were going to be stuck with it."

"Luckily, I got my head out of my ass and asked you to marry me, and now we have a proper anniversary." Stef tried to make a joke.

Lena softened, "Honey, we already talked about it. We aren't discarding the other one. It means a lot to me." She stopped a moment, recalling those days, "It was one of the first serious conversations about us that we ever had."

Stef remembered, "You wanted it to be our first actual date, after I'd come out."

With a sip of her drink, Lena added, "But you wanted it to be the first time you kissed me."

"I did," Stef reiterated with passion. "I wanted that date because my life changed after that. You didn't know it then, but in mind we were as good as married then."

Lena cocked her eyebrow, "Stef, you panicked. You gay panicked after that kiss. How can you say that?"

Stef took Lena's hand across the table, "Your kiss never left my lips after that. I felt it always and of course, it just made my panic worse. I ran from it, but it never left me."

Lena loved hearing romantic words when they came from her wife's lips. "Your kiss never left me either." They stared at each other with love until Lena added, "I had to dump Raphaela immediately after that." Stef bristled at the name. "I couldn't be with her after I felt your lips. My denial was over. I loved you and I was wasting my time dating someone I didn't care for."

This seemed to appease Stef. "Well, we were both in denial. Did you think then, when we celebrated our second month together, that we'd be together all these years later?"

"I did, I wanted to. I hoped. Did you?"

"I had never been in love like this, so I knew it had to last."

They were interrupted by their servers bringing their meal. They ate, chit chatting about their daily lives, and the couples around them. Stef and Lena were never short on conversation, and this was no exception. Eventually, Lena got back the subject of the day, "So, a year later, after having fought it so hard, how does it feel being married?"

Stef laughed, "You know, I love it. I love each time I introduce myself as Stef Adams Foster, I love when our kid's friends call me 'Mrs. Adams Foster.' Most of all, I love introducing you as my wife. I remember the first time, it was in court with Callie. We were trying to keep her from Juvy and I told the judge as much, calling you my wife. Honestly, I was nervous about using it. I knew I was going to the whole time were sitting there and I was thinking about what I would say."

Lena smiled, recalling how good all those things felt. "I loved putting my new name on the window my office. I don't think I ever told you. I have to admit that I resented how long your badge took to change."

Stef looked puzzled, "Oh, my uniform name badge?" Stef chuckled. "Police bureaucracy moves so slowly. You should have seen the deputy in charge of that when I finally confronted him on the delay." Lena could imagine just the scene that Stef had caused. "Putting that badge every day, is like putting on my bracelet, my ring… my necklace. They're all a reminder of how much I love you."

And suddenly, married Lena felt a pang of guilt. She remembered their recent problems. She knew where secrets led. She had meant to tell Stef tomorrow, after their anniversary. She supposed this couldn't wait. She knew it might ruin dessert. She knew it would definitely ruin the rest of the evening. This was Stef though, Lena knew exactly what the reaction would be. She knew Stef would not be able to let it go. Lena sighed.

Stef noticed, "Why are you so quite suddenly?"

Lena sighed with greater regret, "I have to come clean." Stef worried for a second, but she knew it couldn't be about recent unpleasant events. Lena sensed her concern and quickly added, "I may have gone over to Cortney's with some items for Brandon." She cringed and waited for the storm.

Stef opened her mouth wide, "Lena, you know what I said to him."

Lena felt immediate regret, "I know, I know, but I couldn't stop worrying about him. And we never have agreed on how to deal with all this."

Stef nodded, if she admitted it to herself, she was glad that Lena had done that. She didn't want Brandon to suffer. She wanted him to come home. "Ok, yes, we haven't. It's rough, I know we both want him home." Then with some newly found self-awareness, "We can't control him. He's either going to want to come home or not. There's not much we can do."

Lena was quite surprised, and this along with a commitment to honesty led her to utter the next fateful words, "While I was there, I saw they were having a party."

Predictably, Stef almost shot out of her seat. "A party? How do you know?"

Lena looked guiltily, "I saw them bringing in a lot of beer and I asked."

Stef was shocked, "And you're just telling me now?"

Lena steeled herself, "I just wanted to have some sort of anniversary dinner before I ruined it."

The thought completely sobered Stef. She knew Lena didn't intend on keeping this a secret. She knew that she'd just held off because Lena was a romantic. She needed a little romancing on her anniversary. "It's not ruined."

"Not yet," Lena blurted.

"Not ruined period," Stef straightened her napkin on her lap. "We'll have a nice meal, enjoy it as we have been. Then we'll deal with it."

Lena was skeptical, "You sure?"

"Perfectly, what would you like for dessert my love?" Stef didn't skip a beat. And Lena answered in her mind, you.

Later in the evening, Stef and Lena were laughing on the couch. Their shared secret increasing their bond. Sometimes, they just liked having one over on the kids.

"I think Jesus bought it," Lena finally whispered.

Stef agreed, "But I don't think Mariana did."

And suddenly all the trials of the day washed away. They'd survived their spy mission and were in their home where they belonged, together. Lena hadn't quite expected Stef to suggest a night of spying, but she wasn't really surprised by it. "You know, I remember another one of your spying missions."

"You do?" Stef wondered which of her secret missions she could be referring to. She didn't think she'd be talking about her recent blackmailing of Robert.

Lena nodded. "Hmmm… I do. It was a long time ago."

Stef couldn't recall anything from a long time ago. She surmised that Lena had a better memory.

"I was with Raphaela." Lena continued.

Suddenly, Stef did remember. 'Oh no, she couldn't possibly know,' Stef thought. She'd been so careful.

"You had just learned we were dating and I had told you that we were going to the movies. I remember that I never told you what movie we were going to." Lena recalled.

"But you told me what movie you were dying to see." Stef admitted.

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Lena reminded Stef.

With a grin, Stef said, "And that was pretty much playing in only one theater at this point. I mean, I am no detective, but it wasn't that hard."

"Stef, watching you sneak around windows today," Lena chuckled. "It took me right back to that date I had. It was an early date and I wasn't really going to the theater to be with her. I just wanted to see the movie. Imagine my surprise when I spotted you in a dark corner in the back of the theater, alone, with a huge tub of popcorn."

Stef scooted closer to Lena, "How was I supposed to hide?" Lena laughed shaking her head. Stef continued, "I thought you didn't see me."

"I saw you. It's like I had a sixth sense when it came to you." Lena took Stef's hand.

"How come you didn't say anything?" Stef asked.

Lena shrugged, "What was I supposed to say to you back then? You were so closeted and I was trying to date just to not think about you."

"What about all these years?" Stef wondered.

Lena smirked, "As you know, this lady has her secrets, but I promise you. This time, I mostly just forgot all about it. Seeing you around the kids tonight reminded me what an awful detective you make when it comes to your personal life."

Stef nodded, "It's hard when I feel so strongly about something."

"Aww honey, come here." Lena took Stef in her arms and cradled her. "I know how much you care. It's what I love about you. And I know you're trying. You let me have desert and coffee before you rushed us out of there."

Stef sat up, "Wanna read the card? See what the kids said."

"I am sure it was written by Mariana." Lena had already peeked at the card, "Dear moms, we're all thankful for whatever forces brought you together so that we could make this family together. We also thank the supreme court for making this marriage super legal and letting us share both your names. Happy Anniversary!"

Stef smiled, "That was actually really sweet."

Lena continued, "PS, we're all wearing headphones tonight. Love you, your kids."

For the second time tonight, Stef's jaw dropped. "These kids!"

Lena found it amusing, "Look it could be so much worse, Mariana could be calling us out for not having sex. At least now, they know we're back!"

"Oh we are back, are we?" Stef teased.

Lena hesitated, "Well, I mean not as much as I'd like, but…"

Stef cut her off, "Let's not analyze and head upstairs, take advantage of these headphones." Stef stood up, not allowing Lena any time to speak. She'd begun to feel more comfortable with her new body, her new breasts. They were still working their way through Stef's discomfort and her lack of feeling. Still, they had discovered other ways of being together and Stef had learned that sex wasn't going to be the problem they had both feared post-surgery.

Stef led Lena upstairs, tempted to make her typical "top" joke but decided against it. Once inside their bedroom, they took stock of each other. It was a rare occasion for them to dress up for one another. Lena was wearing a lovely black dress that showed off her body. Stef was wearing one of her very sharp suits. Lena loved Stef's new side. She was so in touch with her sexuality. She knew Stef finally looked like what she wanted to look and her confidence was so appealing.

"You look soo good tonight," Lena said reaching for Stef, grasping the lapels of her stripped shirt.

"I do? Not too butch?" Stef still worried that Lena wouldn't like it. She was confident and knew this was what she wanted to wear, but she didn't want Lena to suddenly find her unattractive.

"Just the right kind of butch," Lena wasn't stuck on labels. She'd been at Berkeley at a time when you wore your labels literally on your sleeve. She'd stuck so many Queer Nations on her backpack. Femme Dyke had been her favorite at the time.

Lena stepped forth to make sure her woman knew how much she liked her just the way she was. She kissed her in that suit, and pushed her over to the bench in their bedroom. She sat her down and motioned for her to stay. Then, she walked back and let Stef appreciate her dress. She could feel hazel eyes undressing her, so she thought she'd help Stef out. Lena reached behind her back, where she could feel her zipper was and brought it down just a tad, never taking her eyes of Stef. Then she moved towards Stef, turned around and let Stef bring the zipper down. As she slowly opened Lena like a present, she let her fingers graze the newly exposed skin. Her eyes caught sight of Lena's matching lingerie. Stef didn't think she'd seen it before. She pushed the dress down and took the time to admire how beautiful her wife was. "Are those new?"

Lena turned back again, letting Stef have a long look at the two-piece set. "Hmm, nope, it's just been a while."

Stef wanted her hands on Lena, so she stood up towards her wife, who promptly stopped her on her tracks. "Sit down," she commanded.

Stef did as she was told and tried not to anticipate Lena's next move. Lena wasn't in a hurry to move and just swayed to an imaginary tune. They were both excited and ready to play with each other. Lena came over to their bench and let Stef run her hands all over her body. Stef removed the panties, sliding them down Lena's long legs. Then she carefully took Lena's still heeled feet and helped Lena step out of the panties. Instead of throwing them across the room immediately, Stef quickly brought them to her face and sniffed. There was something so intimate about knowing her wife's smells.

Lena playfully slapped Stef, "Stop it." Still, the gesture made her even more ready and wanton.

Stef got serious and sat Lena on top of her.

"Honey, I am soaking, gonna ruin your pants." Lena whispered into Stef's ear."

Stef quickly replied, "Dry cleaning" and went about her business. She had Lena wrap her legs around her and press her groin tightly against her. Stef thrusted up hoping to relieve some of Lena's needs by providing much needed contact. Meantime, she shoved her face into Lena's breasts and licked her way around Lena's bra. Soon, she decided to suck on the lace covered nipple. She felt it harden beneath the material and could feel Lena pushing harder against her. This was her cue: Lena was ready. She took her left hand and held on tight to Lena's waist. She guided her right hand to Lena's entrance and teased her wet opening.

Lena was done with teasing and raised herself, giving Stef the space to fully penetrate her. Quickly, Stef thrust three fingers inside Lena. She felt Lena move above her, grind down against her hand. Stef kept her mouth right on Lena's breast and her hardening nipple. Lena was quickly losing herself, she wanted a bit more but needed Stef to concentrate. She reached down between her legs and rubbed her own clit while Stef continued to fuck her. Lena kissed Stef deeply feeling her fingers deep inside, hitting the spot again and again as she repeatedly pushed herself down on Stef's hand. At first, Lena only kept pressure against her own clit, just enjoying the thorough fucking, but eventually she began moving her finger from side to side. Her moisture was making her finger glide over the tight nub.

"Stef, I am gonna come," Lena grunted into Stef's mouth.

"Shh… just do it," Stef managed to swallow Lena's moans as she shook above her. Stef, pulled her fingers out of Lena and held her tightly as an exhausted Lena collapse into her embrace.

Lena nestled into Stef, wallowing in her post-orgasmic haze by playing with the lapels of Stef's shirt. "You're so sexy."

"I am sexy? You're the one sitting on me with just your sexy bra on." Stef whispered against Lena's hair.

Lena sat up, "You are so sexy, your outfit alone was half my orgasm. The other half was your hair." Lena reached up to ruffle the short blonde strands.

Stef smiled, "You do like it, don't you?" It was less of a question and more of a statement.

"I would never have imagined it. I mean, I've seen you through quite a few haircuts, including that horrid-in-denial mess I met you with."

Stef was embarrassed, "Don't remind me."

"I just never knew you wanted to cut it. So it's not even something I picture and now I am just so thrilled. It's so, so, so… you. You are so beautiful, so pretty." They kissed again and Lena knew exactly how she wanted the evening to end. She quickly slid to the floor. She took Stef's jacket off, then she quickly unbuttoned Stef's shirt. Her fingers making it a quick task, much as they had a year ago on their wedding day. She took her time, caressing her breasts, knowing Stef was mostly numb. Her cosmetic work was almost done, only the tattooing was left to do. Her breasts were about the size that Stef wanted, no more solution would be injected. "Is this ok?"

"Yes, I may not feel much but I'm enjoying the visual very much." Stef said, watching her wife naked between her legs.

Lena didn't stop at the breasts, her hands kept searching till they found what she was looking for. The scar. "You know a year ago I married the cop, the bullet and the scar. I didn't know what life had waiting for us. I will take 1000 scars as long as I can have you. You make me what I am, every day. I am so happy to have had you in my life for over 11 years. May this be the first of many, many more years of marriage."

Stef was visibly shaken, much as she had the day of her wedding. Stef didn't like showing her emotions, but this was the one person that had seen her at her best and at her worst. "I told you very recently that you are the love of my life. So, for as long as fate allows us, we will be together and I will love you."

"I love you so much." Lena unzipped Stef's pants and promptly discarded her lower garments. Stef remained in her unbuttoned, striped shirt, revealing her still toned abdomen. Lena spread Stef's legs wide and rested between them. Going down on Stef had been many things for Lena, a revelation, a routine, a quickie. Tonight, she would worship, grateful to have this woman share everything with her. She could see Stef was wet. Lena stood up for a second, to a puzzled look from Stef. Lena smiled and shimmied her way back into the discarded panties. There was something about the feeling of rough lace against her pussy. She came back to Stef but this time decided to straddle one of Stef's feet as she went back to Stef's center. She needed to feel the rough fabric rubbing on her clit as she ate out her wife.

"Lena…" was all Stef managed.

"Am I hurting you?" Lena asked?

Stef shook her head and took a fistful of Lena's hair, "Nope not at all, get back here." She pushed her back to her pussy. Stef threw her head back and began to enjoy what her wife was doing to her. Their room was dark, only one lamp was lit. She could see what Lena was doing, but she wanted to close her eyes and just feel. If she closed her eyes, she could feel each lick, each suck. When Lena was going down on her, she'd try to anticipate what Lena would do next. Her wife knew her so well and with a little encouragement she could get Lena to do what she wanted. She would arch her hips up and Lena would dip down into her hole and lick and penetrate her with her tongue. She'd pull back and Lena would return, sucking her lips along the way. Yet, it was also the surprise that would escalate her desire. Suddenly Lena would move, surprising her by sucking on her clit; Stef would become incredibly aroused. She was determined to enjoy the ride. Both of her hands were now holding on to Lena's hair. She wasn't grasping, merely caressing the long locks. Everything was creating a sensual experience that was taking her higher and higher.

Just when Stef thought she couldn't take anymore, Lena began to tease her. She would suck on Stef's clit and when Stef began to grind and moan, signaling her release, Lena would pull back. Then, she'd start moving her body up and down Stef's leg, rubbing herself and her wet panties all over Stef's ankle. When she could sense Stef was calming down, she'd return to her pussy and take long slow licks from her lower lips to her clit. She continued to tease Stef till she was pretty much on the same page as Stef.

Stef felt herself on the edge of falling and was trying to not anticipate the moment when a teasing Lena would take her mouth away. Instead, she sensed a renewed urgency as Lena began grinding faster on her foot. Suddenly, under a flurry of long licks, Stef came furiously, grinding and pulling on Lena's hair. After Stef came down from her ecstasy, Lena was still moving against her foot. Stef watched as Lena continued to lick her sensitive clit, giving her an almost painful sensation. Before Stef could complain, much to her relief, Lena came. With Stef's clit on her tongue, Lena groaned out her second release of the night.

As soon as Stef could tell Lena was done, she pulled her up and kissed her wet mouth, shoving her tongue deeply into her love. They made out, grateful for each other, their family, their love. Their complicated lives were like a deck of card sometimes, so many threats around them could make the whole thing collapse. Yet their love, this thing between them, was the strong fort surrounding the fragile structure.

"Happy Anniversary Mrs. Adams Foster," Stef whispered.

A slightly out of breath Lena managed a smile, "Happy Anniversary Mrs. Adams Foster." They stood up and walked the short distance to their bed, holding hands. They continued kissing, relishing each other, the years behind them and all the years ahead of them.


	5. Officer Lena Adams Foster

Putting on the uniform had been both a very impulsive sudden choice and the most deliberately planned seduction of Lena's life. Ever since she'd met the dashing young cop, Lena had been fascinated by Stef's uniform. At first, she'd had a deep desire to see the intriguing mom in uniform. Having learned she was a police officer, it was all Lena could think about. After spending countless months watching her come and go in that uniform, the impulse had changed to taking it off. Lena had dreamt of peeling off Stef, enjoying the feel of the rough fabric as she revealed the woman underneath the uniform. Then after years of living with the woman, Lena had developed a desire to wear it. Stef was a bit formal about her uniforms. She kept them orderly and neat in the closet and hated even the appearance of a wrinkle. Lena tended to stay away.

Ten years after meeting her, Stef was on the verge of getting rid of the uniform forever. Lena figured it was now or never. She hadn't started off her day thinking, 'this is the day I'll finally put it on.' Yet, Lena was nothing if not advantageous. This was an opportunity she would not pass up. When she'd pictured wearing it, she thought she'd do a whole strip tease routine for Stef. However, her mother in law had beaten her to the punch. Even though Stef did not participate in the scandalous birthday display, Lena had felt like they had taken her thunder. She certainly didn't think she could compare to professionals. So she made a quick decision, the handcuffs and just the top.

Lena hoped that Stef was in the mood for a little kink. It's not that they were perfectly vanilla, it's just that Stef had to be pushed to get a little more adventurous. The one and only time they'd tried cuffs, it had been Stef trying to cuff her in a hotel room and it had descended into one silly laugh fest. They couldn't anchor them to the bed and it had just descended into ridiculousness after that. Lena was very aware that they could not use them on their bed either, so she'd either just use them for visual effect or figure something out. So, she'd stripped, leaving herself with just her brown tank top on. She looked at her panties and felt she needed a bit more pep. Luckily she knew where to find the right pair for the occasion. She slipped them off and finished it off with the Uniform shirt. As it was on the larger side, Lena felt it worked better unbuttoned. Once the outfit was complete, Lena felt a change in herself. She felt confident, much like the way she'd felt when she put on her 70s outfit for her 40th birthday. Maybe she was a costume girl. The outfit sure made her feel more confident, she felt like the person she was trying to portray. Yet, it was more than that, she felt sexually adventurous and in control.

Lena was not reticent about her sexuality and had never felt shy about it. It was just that she'd always felt more comfortable with topping from the bottom as it were. She'd use her femininity and her ability to seduce. As an experienced Lesbian, Lena knew that you brought different energies to different relationships. She'd also been in a relationship with Stef for a long time and knew their energies changed over time. It wasn't always one thing or the other. It's that flexibility that had led to their frequent games to see who would top first. Tonight, after Lena put on that shirt, there was no doubt in her mind about who would be on top tonight. With that thought, she made her intentions clear in an effort to stop whatever Stef had been babbling about for a couple of minutes. "Never?" She questioned, revealing her outfit at the frame of the entryway.

Stef was rarely speechless, but when she looked up from her magazine, she immediately forgot at which number of the most beautiful women she'd been looking at. Before her eyes, stood the number one looking woman, Lena Adams Foster. With one intense gaze, Lena had silenced Stef. Lena standing there, in nothing but Stef's uniform and a pair of sexy underwear, was enough to snap Stef's brain out its every day anxiety. Stef playfully then took the time to check out her wife, who was standing with clear intent and a pair of Stef's very own handcuffs in her hand.

"Oh my," slipped from Stef's slips as she took sight of the entire look.

Lena didn't seem impressed by her compliment, "You have the right to remain silent."

For some reason, Stef felt defiant, "Do I?" She cracked with a smile.

Still, Lena was having none of it, "Mm-hmm." She was stone faced refusing to give in to Stef's playfulness.

It was in that very moment that Stef really noticed how serious Lena was, she walked up to the bed with purpose, and confidently climbed on to the bed, walked on her knees and straddled her in seconds. For a brief moment in time, all Stef could see was Lena's crotch in those hot red panties. She felt surprised, amused and a little bit scared as Lena trapped her against her own bed. She decided to go with it, as the overwhelming feeling suddenly became arousal and murmured an, "Ok." She sat up and let her hands get lost on Lena's back.

They kissed passionately with an urgency neither had felt in long time. This wasn't an affirmation of their commitment. This wasn't born from making up after a particularly hurtful exchange. This was them, fucking, for no other reason than they wanted to. They were turned on and wanted to please the other. Stef brought her hands down to touch Lena's thighs, she stroked them while the woman above her held her tightly, slipping her tongue deeply into her mouth. Stef could feel the heat coming off Lena's pussy, burning into her own groin.

"You look so hot in my shirt," Stef spoke between kisses.

Suddenly Lena stopped and reprimanded, "I thought you agreed to stay silent."

Stef was confused at first, "Yeah, I guess I did."

"No, I don't think you understood. You're going to have to be punished."

Aroused and confused, Stef wondered what Lena meant. They hadn't ventured too deeply into this kind of territory and then the roles were usually reversed. She watched Lena reached into her shirt's pocket and saw that Lena had stashed a very special surprise in there. She took out the cuff keys. Having dropped the handcuffs earlier when she'd straddled Stef, Lena now reached for them with one hand, holding the keys with the other.

"Um, Lena, what are you…"

Stef was interrupted before she could even finish the thought, "Stefanie Marie Adams Foster, you're not very good at following directions." Lena took Stef's hands, knowing full well she couldn't cuff her to the bed and decided to cuff her hands together instead. "If you aren't going to be quiet, I'm gonna to need you to at least keep still."

Opening her mouth to object, Stef suddenly realized how much she wanted Lena to cuff her. She needed Lena to make her forget all her worries and take her decision making power away. She just needed to feel. And Lena grinding above her at this very moment was driving her to the most perfect distraction. She obediently looked up to Lena, and silently acquiesced power with a silent question, 'What now?'

Lena was perceptive and could tell Stef was finally catching on. "You finally read to listen?"

Stef nodded her consent and Lena was quick to continue.

"Take off your shirt." Lena knew that it would be hard to remove once she cuffed Stef.

Stef raised her eyebrows but quickly shed the offending material.

"Put your hands in front of you," Lena commanded. Stef quickly complied and watch as amateur hands incapacitated hers, using her own tools. She did note that Lena was careful not to squeeze too hard. Early on, both of them had expressed a limited tolerance for pain.

"Good girl." Lena noted as Stef was now in full compliance. Lena realized how much it was turning her on to be in control. Stef was so willful and independent, it was amazing to watch her, ready to do anything for Lena. Stef in turn was feeling just as pleased. She didn't want to think, she needed to just follow directions and Lena was suddenly being spontaneous and direct. There were times when Stef felt like Lena was looking at all points of view, and tonight she only seemed to have one, and it was Stef herself.

Lena sat back and watched Stef, half naked and completely vulnerable. Lena ran her hands from Stef's strong shoulders down to her firm toned arms and down to the cuffs. There was great contrast between the warmth of her skin and the cold of the metal. She then ran her hands up between her arms and admired the mastery of Stef's surgeon. She had breasts now, and she could tell Stef was loving being able to wear the things she used to wear without a care. Lena almost teared up at how far Stef had come. She was trusting her with everything, even her self-esteem in the face of her marred body. In return, Lena decided to admire the one amazing thing that had come out of this ordeal, Stef's haircut. Lena didn't think Stef understood how hot this new confident look was. Stef being exactly who she wanted to be was an incredible turn on for Lena. It was still relatively new for them and she loved playing with the hair. In the weeks since the haircut, Stef had trimmed it a few times, each time, the hair got shorter and shorter, it was evident she was now using clippers on the back. As a result, there was soft fuzz on the back of her head, and Lena reveled in running her fingers through the soft hair. Stef responded as she always did, with slight tremors. She was extremely sensitive, especially to the way Lena ran her fingers through her hair.

"You like that, do you?" For a reply, Stef closed her eyes in pleasure, showing Lena exactly what she was doing to her.

"Raise your hands above your head." Stef quickly complied. Lena quickly stood up and pulled the cover away from Stef's body. She wanted her naked. She then pulled off her pants. She thought about taking off her own clothes, needing to feel all of Stef with every inch of her skin, but she was having too much fun wearing the uniform. She'd settle for the next best thing.

Stef watched as Lena took off the police shirt, then the brown tank that fit her body so nicely. Finally, the panties came off, leaving her beautiful wife, naked, her smooth recently lotioned skin glistening. She watched in surprise as Lena put the uniform shirt right back on, not bothering to button it.

"You thought, Officer Lena was done, didn't you?" Lena reasoned.

Stef nodded again, pleased with Lena taking such control.

Lena didn't like Stef's amusement, though, "Wipe that smile off your face, Stef. I'm still in charge here." Stef opened her eyes obediently and Lena rewarded her, "I'm going to give you permission to speak. I want you to answer with 'Yes, mam and No, mam.' Do you understand?"

Stef nodded, but then remembered, "Yes, mam."

Lena went back to straddling Stef, and bent down and kiss her, her cuffed hands between their bodies. Lena controlled the strength of their embrace and the intensity of their kiss, as she stuck her tongue inside her wife, needing to feel wetness in her mouth. "You taste so good." Lena leaned back on her ankles and stroked Stef's thighs. "I could do anything with you, what shall I do?" Lena pondered briefly before making a decision, not wanting to seem at all unsure.

"I'm gonna go down on you, but I don't want you to make any noises. I know how you get, but I'm gonna need you to stay quiet." Lena bent down, Stef's hands were still above her head. Lena spread her legs apart, and could see her wife was already wet. It was a bit unusual for Stef to get aroused that quickly, but Lena had known the stunt was very effective the second the magazine went flying to the side.

Lena touched the moisture with her fingers, "I like it when my woman is very appreciative and receptive." Stef shivered at both the touch and the word woman. Lena knew exactly what she was doing.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Lena asked. When Stef merely nodded, Lena asked again, "I said, are you enjoying yourself?"

This time, Stef remembered, "Yes, mam."

Lena pushed her finger inside and felt Stef jolt with pleasure. "I can see you're ready for me, I can see you like what I'm doing." Lena moved in and out of Stef a few times before remembering what she'd set out to do. She stuck her tongue out and began licking very lightly. Stef was now swollen and Lena could feel the engorged lips beneath her tongue. With feather like strokes, she tasted Stef and waited, waited for Stef to react. Stef was writhing beneath her trying to push herself into Lena. Lena was a step ahead each time and pulled back the pressure, increasing her wife's frustration.

Lena left her bottom lip lightly resting on Stef's clit while she asked, "Do you want me to lick you harder?"

Stef looked down, completely frustrated, "Yes, mam." Stef grew wetter and her clit grew stiffer with Lena's tender attention. Lena pulled back and knew that just blowing on Stef's clit would get a reaction. What Lena didn't expect was for Stef to suddenly bring down her cuffed hands and push Lena's head down. Lena was momentarily distracted, incredibly turned on by Stef's need. She acquiesced and sucked Stef hard before remembering her mission.

"Oh you naughty girl," Lena snapped before quickly pulling back. "You're gonna come when I want you to." Lena shook her head. "And how I want you to." Stef looked up pleadingly, but as punishment, Lena would not give her exactly what she wanted. She knew Stef was seeking contact desperately, so she pulled her hands back above her head again and laid completely on top of her, the trough fabric of the police uniform between them. Stef had never felt the rough metal of her badge against her bare skin.

With one hand holding Stef's hands above her head, Lena reached between their bodies with her other hand. Lena's fingers were immediately coated with Stef. She was sliding all over Stef's lower lips and clitoris. She used two fingers together to finally find purchase on Stef and began rubbing the hard nub. "You're so hot Stef." Lena buried herself in Stef's neck, licking and sucking at the edge of her hairline. Stef tried to keep her hands above her, not daring to defy Lena, needing to come. She was trying desperately to stay quiet but the pleasure was building quickly. She knew it would only take a few more strokes, and was grateful when Lena could sense it as well and returned to kiss her. Right before her climax, Lena kissed her deeply and Stef was able to moan into her while the weight of Lena kept her mostly in place as her body shook with her desire.

Lena kept kissing her, letting her come down from her orgasm. She finally pulled away and looked at Stef, and could read the question in her eyes, could she speak yet? "Not yet, honey. I need to get off and you're gonna help me." Stef expected Lena to reach for the key and let her off the cuffs. Instead, Lena got off Stef, brought her cuffed hands down below her waist. Before Stef could react, Lena began to straddle her in a way that echoed her first earlier straddle. This time, Stef got a full shot of naked Lena, who looked as wet as she herself felt.

"Scoot down a little," Lena commanded and suddenly Stef knew what was happening.

On her knees, Lena climbed up the bed to align her body with Stef's face. "Keep your hands to yourself, do you understand?"

"Yes, mam," were the last words Stef spoke before Lena came down on top of her, shushing her with her pussy.

"Oh yeah," Lena moaned as Stef quickly began to lick Lena furiously. Lena struggled to stay off Stef, while Stef used only her mouth to pleasure Lena. She was used to having a bit more control in this position. Without her hands, Lena was pretty much riding her, using her. Lena was pushing down when she needed more pressure and pulling away when she wanted Stef to slow down. Keeping her promise not to use her hands, Stef soon realized that she could reach her own clit. Her hands connected together, she used her middle fingers and began rubbing herself hard, feeling like a second orgasm was a distinct possibility. Meanwhile, Lena continued to push herself hard against Stef's tongue. Moisture was dripping down Stef's chin, as Lena got closer to her release. Stef was beginning to struggle to breathe, but was committed to lick and suck till Lena came hard.

Stef was frantically rubbing her pussy, her hands were beginning to hurt from the effort and the pulling of the handcuffs. With a mouth full of Lena, she opened her eyes and saw the vision of Lena, her caramel smooth skin glistening with her effort. The shirt was still open and Lena was pinching both nipples with her hands. Lena was riding her, without a care in the world, taking her pleasure, completely in control. The thought was enough to push Stef right over the edge, and she groaned which forced Lena to look down and see the pleasure on her wife's face. Immediately, Lena tipped over into bliss, coming in gasps, also keeping herself quiet. She climbed off Stef who took a huge gulp of air, finally free to breathe properly.

"Lena, baby, that was so hot. Come here," Stef couldn't contain herself any longer.

Lena took off the uniform, and laid down beside her naked wife. She used the shirt, to wipe down her sweat and then Stef's face. "I love you so much," she spoke as she wiped Stef down.

"I love you too, sweetheart. I don't know where Officer Lena came from, but I sure loved this side of you," Stef was very much turned on by this dominant side of her wife.

"The uniform brought it out I think, but there's no reason we can't bring her out to play once in a while," Lena teased.

With a sigh, Stef brought her hands up, "OK, then Officer, time to get rid of these I think."

Lena tried to remember what had happened to the keys. They were in her hand one minute and the next. Stef read the panic quickly, "Lena, where are the keys?"

Lena began rummaging through the covers, but didn't immediately find them. She got up quickly and stared looking on the floor. "They didn't walk out of the room, they have to be here."

Stef grew impatient quickly, "I cannot call up anyone at work with this problem. I cannot Lena."

This stopped Lena on her tracks, "Calm down. We will find them, in the meantime. I think you need to relax again."

"Lena…" Stef complained weekly.

"Relax honey, I just want to kiss you. It will be ok," Lena whispered, gently laying down next to Stef.

With Lena beside her again, Stef began to relax, leaning into the loving kisses. Before she realized it, Lena had inserted the small key into the slot and let her out of the cuffs. "Oh, you had me going." Stef playfully slapped Lena's side.

In response, Lena just held Stef tenderly, helping her momentarily forget every worry she had. For a while.

NOTES

Special thanks to calzonafan2014 for kicking around ideas with me and giving me 2 very clever ideas.


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